21. We havent tried that for a while. Carlin got famous for his bit about the "words you can't say on television," but his legacy speaks of so much more, wisdom and wit that deserve to live on through the ages. And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter. It's an ego defense. The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. A man with only one lip. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. Some of these one-liners included: "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 01. 50. it simply doesn't give a fuck about you. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. So maybe it's not the politicians who suck; maybe it's something else. Fascism won it. Doc was a connection. Am I right? Then he is the victim of an irony. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York City, to Mary (Bearey), a secretary, and Patrick John Carlin, an advertising manager for The Sun; they had met while working in marketing. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? It sounds fashionable and, to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. "You give us a color, we'll wipe it out! And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift, a classic, deluxe, custom, designer, luxury, prestige, high quality, premium select, gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. The planet will be here, and well be gone. That is a true oxymoron if Ive ever heard one: Civil War. Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? Dont look for it. The only story I know of where clouds are important was Noah's Ark! Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. Fertilization. A Reverend Donald Wildman in Mississippi heard something on the radio that he didn't like. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Religion is nothing but mind control. They say if you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son, that will be precisely ironic. The best (and funniest) George Carlin Quotes on politics, life & death and of course the American government I sit there laughing and they go to waste. I say, "Pick it up, asshole, you're lucky you found the fuckin' thing! George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.". 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. He said "Hi folks, I'm completely full of shit and how do ya like that?" To me, no person is a better example of that than George Carlin, a savage satirist and brilliant thinker who was just as much of a writer and a philosopher as he was a comedian. You know how you speed up baseball? Pretty neat deal, huh? I leave that to others. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. A funeral director who says "Hope to see you folks again real soon!" When they talk about drugs, they don't talk about all of them. Hosted by Sabrina Tavernise. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. A country with a five-trillion-dollar debt is giving advice on handling money? George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. 11. And the greatest arrogance of all: "save the planet." The sanctity of life doesnt seem to apply to cancer cells, does it? Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. Some people don't want you to mention certain things. And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let government and industry poison me a little bit every day. We won the big game today, yes sir!" Go look for consistency in religion. Because I think we squandered great gifts. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. There are battered husbands. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Doesnt happen. "GIMME THAT, IT'S MINE!" See, nobody can do it! Simple thing. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. I am perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling that portion of the room I don't occupy. They don't fall out of the sky. The person who drives the car they go for a drive, the other people they go for a ride. At least he's honest!" It's like watching flies fuck! Another great skit by the great stand-up comedian George Carlin who died about two years . I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place? By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Isn't that nice? They say, "oh, we're going for a nature walk. And I would admit, that somewhere underneath all this there's a little flicker of a flame of idealism that would love to see it all huish! Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget.
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